Tips for a Healthy Marriage
"The formula for a happy marriage? It's the same as the one
for living in California: when you find a fault, don't dwell on it." Jay Trachman
For any relationship to survive, it is essential to keep it cheerful and healthy. And it's quite true, especially in case of longer-lasting relationships such as marriage. Marriage is a very precious and important commitment. It is a union of not only two individuals, but also of two families. Marriage offers personal, emotional and economical stability to a person. Hence, every person strives to maintain the marital relationship. However, merely living together does not qualify as a successful marriage. A successful marriage means commitment, care, tolerance of each other's differences, and respect for one another. It is the responsibility of both partners to make efforts towards keeping their marital relation healthy and happy.
"Happily Married" - Such a Thing DOES Exist!
Building and maintaining a healthy marriage is not that easy. It needs a lot of effort and sufficient time together. Both partners should equally take efforts to make their marital relationship enjoyable and comfortable. Given below are some helpful tips that may prove helpful for a pursuing successful married life.
For God's Sake, Communicate!
Communication is the most important key to a healthy relationship. Effective communication helps develop a strong bond between a couple by eliminating the possibility of misunderstandings and unrealistic expectations. You should be able to express your feelings and share all your joys, worries, and concerns with your partner in a direct yet appropriate manner so as not to hurt the other's feelings and sensibilities. You see, the naked truth can be bitter at times but it still needs to be conveyed in order to have a clear perspective of the situation. A clear perspective is quintessential to taking the right decision regarding important matters regarding life, finances, relationships, and family equations. However, communication is not restricted to talking only. You should also be able to carefully listen to your partner. For being able to communicate effectively, you need to keep aside enough time for each other from your busy schedule. You must spend some time with each other for meaningful conversations. Try to have at least one meal together everyday.
The Name's Bond...
You both should make efforts towards bonding on a daily basis, in order to strengthen your relationship. You should objectively review past moments and find out your mistakes and problem areas in your relationship in case the personal equation between you two seems to be undergoing emotional strain. By this, you can decide the areas to be worked upon and improved. You can also seek help from a professional marriage counselor.
Leave Depreciation to the Accountant
Another important thing for a healthy marriage is to express your appreciation for your partner and the little ways in which he/she takes care of your needs or makes you feel special . Saying 'Thank you' can make your partner feel special and appreciated. You should never miss an opportunity to appreciate your partner even for everyday things such as cooking, cleaning, keeping your things in order, or taking care of the kids. It would make your partner happy and he/she would always look forward to doing things that make you happy. When appreciation and the willingness to please is mutual, such a marriage is bound to set an example for every relative and acquaintance of the couple.
Together Forever = f(Commitment+Fidelity)
Commitment is of utmost importance if a relationship is to be healthy and if a marriage is to be successful. Your relationship with your partner should occupy the highest priority in your life. A relationship needs attention and efforts to flourish and strengthen. No matter how busy you are with your career or academics, make sure to spend some quality time with your spouse. Always be honest with each other. It is the most important thing for a successful marriage. Infidelity of one or both partners can ruin a marital relationship. If you commit a mistake, admit it to your partner. By being honest with each other, you can build a strong relationship. Trust forms the very foundation of any marriage. It not only gives a solid base to the relationship, but also helps it grow and spread warmth into both of your lives.
From "You and Me" to "Us"
A marriage consists of two individuals as well as a team of two. Adjustment and understanding are two very essential ingredients for any relationship to work and are especially important for a healthy marriage. Always keep in mind, your partner may be brought up in a household that belonged to a different culture or may have had a set of values very different from those of your family. Hence, you should be ready to accept his/her views and opinions and respect the differences instead of resenting them. Look at it as an opportunity to learn different ways of thought and a different philosophy of life. Even if you disagree on any issue, you should discuss your differences calmly in order to understand each other's point of view on the matter. This will only help you to reach a mutually acceptable and sound decision that neither of you can blame each other for, in case the outcome is not what you expected.
Try to find ways to meet each other halfway in your efforts to keep your relationship wholesome and respectful. If your partner happens to commit any personal or social faux pas, don't panic and don't hurt him/her by using harsh words or offensive action. Rein in that outburst and try to understand why he/she did what he/she did. Also, find out if the said trespass was intentional or merely an accident. In the latter case, especially, forgive your partner and, instead, discuss with him/her how such a sticky situation may be avoided in the future.
Romance is a Dish Most Unsuitable for Cooking on the Back Burner
A marriage is a long-term project. The lucky ones are in it for life! While getting comfortable with your spouse's permanent presence in your life sounds good, it can also make you take him/her for granted and rob your relationship of freshness and spice. Stay in touch with your sense of humor. Have fun with your partner and laugh often. It helps relieve stress and helps you get through a difficult time together, all the time fortifying your emotional bond. Most marriages are romantic in the beginning. However, as time passes, the lighthearted romance in the life of a couple gets weighed down by career, chores, and kids. You can keep the romance alive and make each other feel special by indulging in pampering activities like bringing flowers home or getting surprise gifts for your significant other just for the heck of it! Keep aside a day every month for a date and activities only you two would participate in, say, watching a movie together, going on a picnic, trekking the countryside, taking a walk along the beach on a moonlit night, or simply lazing around in the house!
By adopting these useful tips, you can make your marriage a healthy and successful affair for the rest of your lives. While it is true that the divorce rates are going higher with each passing year, it is also true that there are marriages today that still work and almost everyone knows at least one married couple who have stayed married for more than thirty years! That just goes to show that while the stress of today's fast paced, ambition-fueled life is a deal breaker for matrimonial harmony, some still manage to survive the rapids of relationships and pass the test of long term commitment with flying colors.
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