You see a woman and you like her. You approach her and ask her out on a date. Go out for a movie and later have dinner at a nice restaurant. A nice, warm, fun-filled, humor laced and a great evening comes to an end. You genuinely start liking her. The gentleman that you are, you offer to drop her home. She obliges. Both of you reach her place and she insists you come in. As you enter the door, a tiny little figure comes and grabs the woman by her waist and screams, 'Mommie! You are back.' The expression on your face cries out loud I did not see that coming!. You are now dating a single mom! Instead of panicking, go through some 'dating single mom' advice discussed below, which will make life a little easier for you.
Tips and Advice on Dating Single Moms
Fling the 'Fling'
Looking to have a fling with a single mom is not a good idea, unless of course, she wants it too. Single moms come with a lot of responsibilities on their head and are not very keen on 'one night stands' with random people. They expect a certain amount of stability and maturity in their lives, when it comes to their relationships as well. So for guys just looking to have a casual fling with a single mom, put a hold to the thought.
Be Yourself
Since we have established a 'fling' is not the right track, you don't need to go about trying to impress the woman by being unnatural in your approach. When you are looking for and hoping for the relationship to last for a longer duration, it makes sense not to be pretentious and portray yourself the way you are. You don't want the relationship to go sour because the woman found out you are not the same person later on. At the start of any relationship, every person has a tendency to hide as much negative aspects of their personality as possible. Be aware of this and try not giving a drastically wrong image of the person you actually are.
Romance is the New Game
Not like other girls don't appreciate, but while dating a single mom, the more you get valued. You should understand single mothers have lost romance in their lives for some time now and every person yearns for things they don't have. Try doing away with stereotypical ideas like flowers or gifts, and rather be innovative and creative in romancing your woman. Make her personalized gifts keeping her interests in mind, check on her child once in a while, help the child out, drop at her work place unexpectedly, take the kid and mom out together once in a while, etc. The beauty of romance lies in its promptness and surprise element.
Flexibility is the Key
You will come across many situations of last minute plan cancellations or plan changes. This calls for the guy to be a little more flexible and not stubborn about plans made. Issues pertaining to work or child emergencies are common reasons for alterations in pre-determined plans. Guys should understand these issues and be compassionate and understanding enough to change or reschedule them according to the lady's convenience. Since a single mom has different priorities compared to other single women, they should be given due preference.
The Kids Angle
You should realize that the kid is not your enemy and try to make as much effort as possible to befriend and make the kid like you. Do not be fake in front of them as they possess the ability to make out any untruly behavior. You can try and spend time alone with the kid, help out in school work and take interest in his life to show your concern and intentions of taking the relationship one step ahead. There are chances of the child not liking you at first and it is your duty to bring about a change in his or her emotions towards you by loving and caring for him unconditionally. Kids can quickly change their felling towards others provided they are convinced about genuineness of the other person. Don't try and manipulate them, rather win them over with your love.
The 'Ex' Factor
This is another aspect of dating a single mother which guys need to be careful about. The relationship between the woman and her ex-husband is not something you need to poke you nose in. You should be courteous enough to lend a ear to whatever she has to say or share about him, but don't give unnecessary advice unless asked and most importantly, do not enforce undue restrictions on her. Also, don't initiate any talks about him by yourself. Make her feel that you are comfortable talking about him and at the same time not bothered about his presence in your lives.
Decide Early
When you are dating a single mother, it is crucial for both of you to decide early on the eventuality of your relationship. If the woman is shy or does not want to talk about it, you take the mantel on your head to discuss with her, what you feel about your relationship and do you want it to go somewhere. This is important for both of you as she is understandably skeptical of another failed relationship and the guy should also know, if she wants more time and assurance. Again, if kids are involved they need to get comfortable with the idea of a new father and need time to adjust. All this can take a while and it is therefore important to have 'the talk' at an early stage to decide the course of your relationship.
Keep Patience
In case your woman has asked for some more time to make her decision and be with you, or kids are not showing a lot of interest in you, be patient. You cannot blame them considering the circumstances they have been through and your responsibility is to respect this fact and give as much time and assurance need. This will only amplify good traits in your personality and chances of your approval will increase manifold.
After going through various 'dating single mom' tips and advice discussed above, you should be smart enough to figure out, it is not a very difficult task. All you need to realize is that it is different in a few ways from the regular dating you may have been through so far. Certain aspects like accepting kids, respecting the woman's priorities in life, being yourself and having patience should help you in your endeavor. Remember, dating a single mother can always lead to something more meaningful and special later on in life, provided both of you are committed.
