It's one of the hardest things to do. Whether it's because of distance, another love interest or cheating, if you loved them, then breaking up can be harsh.
Good Relationship Gone Bad
Surprisingly, there are many reasons why people in love breakup. Few people can surmise a situation where two lovers-still very much in love-find reasons to break up.
Long distance relationships must be the prime reason why two lovers fall apart. Let's face it, a long distance relationship is not for all of us. And love notwithstanding, some people cannot take the pressure and the lack of mental and physical intimacy which comes with a long distance relationship. Sooner or later, both the man and the woman in a relationship find someone closer to home who satisfies their needs and there is a need to break up the relationship.
Another prime cause of breakups between two lovers is parental and societal pressure. It may seem like a very archaic concept, but there still exists some seemingly backward and reserved cultures who do not allow two lovers of different religions, caste or social strata to marry. Hence, it is often in the best interests of the two lovers to break up, or face the wrath of and denouncement from the community to which they belong.
Sometimes, it so happens, that you love the person you're currently with, but you cannot help but admire the qualities of others. With men it so happens that they are drawn to the physical beauty of other women while still in a relationship. Women on the other hand too may be drawn to a better looking or a financially better settled or a more charming man. So while the two may still be very much in love, things other than absolute commitment to each other ,seem to take precedence.
Getting to the Breakup
While the above cases are just a few scenarios where the breakup becomes inevitable and decidedly the best choice for the two parties involved, let me now veer to the incredibly painful and sticky topic.
Such decisions can rarely be described as mutual. Most of the time it's one person dumping the other. Two lovers do not 'mutually separate' too often, unless the frustration in the relationship is mutual. Now you have to remember that you do love this person and hurting him/her will hurt you as well. It needs to be carefully thought out. You have to prepare yourself for the ensuing emotional ordeal which will await you once you're done uttering the fateful words, "I don't think this is working out."
It often needs to happen at the first opportunity you get post feeling that it isn't working out for you. Let me repeat that oft-repeated line about how a relationship can be like cheese and hard to snap. And the longer you stay in such a dissatisfying relationship, the more the cheese will melt and hence become harder to snap! Hence there is no point in continuing the relationship when you know that it's not going to work out.
Like I said, it is unnaturally difficult and even more so when it involves someone you well and truly care about. Hence you have to be gentle. You have to look for the right time and see if your partner is in a state of mind where he/she can take the blow. Unfortunately looking for the 'right time' would only drag your relationship on further. So sometimes you may just have to suck it up and go on and do it.
Be understanding when you break up. Highlight all the problems which you feel your relationship is going through. Tell your partner how you think that it is better to move on because, given the conditions, the relationship is really not going anywhere. Talk out possible options. It may be ridiculous on my part to suggest this relationship advice, but an open relationship is often the answer, and a lot of couples around the world, who are in love but refuse to be tied down have used this option to good effect.
The breakup may perhaps bring a bit of bitterness in your partner, hence a good relationship advice is to make sure that his/her friends know what has happened and ensure that they are in a position to take care of him/her. Because, after you break up with a person, more often than not they going to be rather unwilling to make you a part of their life again.
Breakups happen all the time, but breakups between two people in love is quite rare and proper care needs to be taken when you look for ways to break up with someone you love.
