There are many rules and regulations in this world in every area of expertise. We need them to properly relate to each other in traffic, in school, at work and basically anywhere. Can you imagine the traffic without rules? Can you imagine airplanes flying without any flight order? Most of us will admit that it would mean chaos and a sure way to death due to the imminent collisions.
Right but how about marriage? Who is to establish the best rules for it?
Well, who made the rules for the traffic? The inventors of cars! The same way, the Inventor of marriage, namely God, gave the rules for a happy marriage. Yes, He made the man and woman different to complement each other and not to compete against each other. But
often times, in our competitive society, we tend to forget that marriage doesn't work best if we apply competition.
Jesus, the Son of God said that the greatest commandment of them all is to love your neighbor as you love yourself. When applying this commandment to marriage, it means to love your husband/wife as you love yourself. That implies putting his/her wishes above yours, giving in to make the other happy. Hmm...this sounds a bit hard, doesn't it?
Someone once said that if you marry because you want your partner to make you happy, you married for the wrong reason; the right reason should be to marry so that you could make your partner happy. You love him/her, you want to see him happy right? But well, you might say, I want him/ her to be happy but not in the detriment of my own happiness!
The surprising thing though is that in the process of pleasing your mate, you'll be the happy one! Unexpected, isn't it?
However, loving your partner applies to both sides; you have to keep in mind that respect is a must. I want to emphasize the fact that pleasing your partner does not mean a "puppy - master" relationship! No, in fact, such a relationship lacks respect, fact that sooner or later will lead to unwanted consequences.
Women and men are equally valued in the eyes of God; yes they have different roles but respect is a main ingredient of any happy couple. See more about what loving your partner as yourself means in the excerpt below taken from Steve Arterburn.
Ten Biblical Rules for a Happy Marriage reflect the most important facets in a marriage:
1. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
Stop criticizing others or it will come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37).
2. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? (Mark 8:36)
3. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
And don't sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26).
4. At least once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse.
Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Proverbs 15:4).
5. Never meet without an affectionate welcome.
Kiss me again and again, your love is sweeter than wine (Song of Solomon 1:2).
6. "For richer or poorer" - rejoice in every moment that God has given you together.
A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate (Proverbs 15:17).
7. If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate.
Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them (Proverbs 3:27).
8. If they're breathing, your mate will eventually offend you. Learn to forgive.
I am warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him (Luke 17:3,4).
9. Don't use faith, the Bible, or God as a hammer.
God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it (John 3:17).
10. Let love be your guidepost.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged (1 Cor. 13:4,5).
