How to Let Go of a Relationship


What the heart experiences is something that cannot be explained, since emotions can only be controlled by a person and understood better by the one experiencing them. If you don't have control over your emotions, you have the capability of committing murder, jumping off a building or even shooting your neighbor in the head. It's all possible because the mind is such and of course the heart, where both somehow work in sync when under great anxiety and pain.

A relationship isn't easy to maintain, especially when things get rough, due to faults brought on by either one party, or both. Drowning in alcohol, subjecting yourself to loneliness or hitting another five joints just won't cut it. You need to be able to get off your butt and do something about your state of mind and well-being after a breakup. There are questions you need to ask yourself and confront about if this person is worth the pain.

How to Let Go of a Past Relationship

It is no easy feat to loosen your hold on a relationship especially when you haven't had decent closure to help you move on. I know you'll hate the sympathetic comments like 'You'll be fine' or 'There's someone better out there for you'. Sigh. They cut you off and blabber on about how it was somehow your fault, while they succeed to make it even more horrid. People need to understand that if you haven't been through what someone has, don't offer lame advice and mind-numbing criticism. Be supportive and above all a good listener when it comes to the broken-hearted. I've seen my share of tragedy and drama, and trust me, moving ahead will be the best thing you ever did.

Ask Yourself If He / She Had Flaws You Oversaw
When you're in love it's only natural that you'll look past one's flaws, even if it kills you to be a witness to it on several occasions. So what are his / her flaws? Too many friends of the opposite sex that he / she overly flirts / hangs out with alone? Money problems? Living off their parents and not moving forward in life? Not taking responsibility for faults of their own? Abusive talker? Cheated on you a number of times where you chose to forgive him / her and take them back? Whatever the flaws, I'm sure you have yours too. Some flaws can overshadow the flaws of others, and if the case here was that you were miss (or mister) goody two shoes and fell for the bad girl / guy, then it would seem obvious for you to let it go and move forward. Just visualize these flaws and recount what happened when you had to put up with it, and how many times you've given him / her a chance to come clean or change. It'll help you feel a lot better to know what you won't be dealing with anymore.

This Time It's About You
Don't sit there avoiding calls from family and friends, and using heartbreak as an excuse to resort to depression or worse yet, substance abuse. It can't be easy, and of course it isn't to have years of memories strung together, only to be ripped apart by something that caught you off guard. There are people out there who are born sadists, and will find a way to hurt people; good people. Don't be someone who falls for the bad guy / girl and wishes things could work out again. You need to be smart and emerge from that cocoon of bleakness you've spun around you. Get out of the house, go meet your friends, make time for your family, go out and shop for something nice, get a whole bunch of movies you've been wanting to watch and spend all in front of the television, or go on a trip somewhere and distance yourself from all the mess.

Use Family and Friends As Help
There's no greater distraction in the world than spending time with the people you love, and those that care about you through good times and bad. They want to help and look out for you. Allowing them to come into your life as a crutch to make things better, is something you need to be open to. Some people like to pry apart one's life and find you as a source for gossip. Distance yourself from those that you find a little untrustworthy to confide in, and surround yourself with positive energies while distancing the negative. When you can relate to people who've been through what you have or worse, it is easy to open up to them. Don't be afraid to share.

A Bad Temper Will Solve Nothing
There's no point trying to badmouth this person all over town, because it'll just encourage your ex to do the same thing, or worse - retaliate. The wise thing to do would be to get rid of all the things that remind you of him / her, no matter how expensive or photographic - it all needs to go to one final destination - the trash can. Seeing these things will only hurt you or piss you off. I know that it will anger you even when the thought of this person comes to mind, but what's the point? You're just distressing your system, and ruining your day by brooding over the whole thing. Just keep this is mind - what goes around comes around.

Let Your Conscience Speak
Did he / she get you into something that was inappropriate or wrong? Did he / she embarrass you in public / in front of your friends? Did his / her views clash with yours on things that meant something to you? Was he / she disrespectful about things that needed reverence? Were they anti social and forced upon you a life of being locked up and alone with just them? How about being over possessive and showing obsessive behavioral patterns that seemed disturbing? Dealing with these important queries is important to know how to let go of an unhealthy relationship.

Remember that getting back with them won't solve anything. Change is constant, and not many people turn out for the best, and if they do, you're taking a chance to have them screw up again. Do you want to take a chance and get hurt again in the future? If you can avoid the inevitable, then you should. You have your whole life ahead of you to find new people, discover new things and live it in the best possible way. Don't waste it away on someone who doesn't know your worth.

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