"Why do people persist in a dissatisfying relationship, unwilling either to work toward solutions or end it and move on? It's because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people believe that the unknown will be much more painful than what they're already experiencing." - Relationship Quote by Anthony Robbins.
A new relationship brings with it the feelings of perpetual elation and euphoria which just does not seem to die out. As much as you may believe that the love is going to last a lifetime, more often than not your feelings for your loved ones do change over the course of time. This of course brings with it its share of stress and relationship problems. Although all relationships do have their fair share of problems, there are certain signs and behavior that cannot be tolerated, condoned or ignored if the relationship is to thrive. So how do you understand the fact that the relationship has run its course? Well, regardless of whether you are dating for a month or living together for years, there are some tell tale signs which tell you when to end a relationship.
Relationship Advice: When to Break Up with Someone
Most of the time, when we are in a relationship, we tend to follow a pattern in our lives. This makes it easy to ignore the red flags that are actually the signs of a bad relationship. Also the investment of time and emotions attached to a relationship can make it difficult for you to decide when to break up. However here are some circumstances that outline when to break up and move on with life.
Fundamentally Incompatible
This is one of the most common reason for a short term relationship breakup. The passion and the heady feelings of being in love at first can temporarily blind you to the basic incompatibilities between you and your partner. So when the euphoria starts wearing off, gradually you become more and more aware of the 'faults' or rather the differences in opinion of your partner. So when you do not have the same goals and dreams for the future as your partner and do not foresee things like children, handling finances and the family, it is time you moved on.
Arguments and Fights
If you are often fighting and having arguments and when the triggering factor of your fights is a betrayal, a lie or a difference in core values then it might indicate that the relationship is on the rocks. However before you jump to conclusions, it is also important to keep in mind that disagreements and other relationship issues are a part of life and minor issues created over things like controlling the remote or forgetting to return calls can always be worked upon. So talk it over with your partner and try to find some common ground.
Infidelity
Cheating on your partner is probably one of the most common reasons for any break up. If you are really in love with your partner and can forgive him/her for the infidelity then it is best to try reasoning with your partner directly and solving the misunderstandings. However if he/she is repeatedly cheating on you behind your back, then it is time to think you thing about maintaining the relation and stop investing all the time and emotion. After all a relationship where the trust is broken and which is filled with jealousy and suspicion can never last long.
Emotional and Physical Abuse
If you are in a relationship where your partner is physically or emotionally abusing you or the children, then it is just time to pack your bags and move out. Every relationship in the world should be based on love and care. So although you might love your partner and he may beg for forgiveness each time he causes pain, there is no way that a person should be allowed to suffer any abuse be it verbal, physical or emotional.. So if your partner shows the signs of an abuser by hurling things at you, intimidating and controlling your environment or hitting you then you should end this abusive relationship immediately.
Lack of Communication
One of the most important part of a relationship is spending time and talking to one another. A lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and take a spark away from even the most loving relationships. So do you or your partner listen to one another or is half of your attention on the television program? This lack of communication can make people drift apart. Also if you find your partner unresponsive to all your efforts of bridging the communication gap, then maybe he or she is just not committed enough towards the relationship.
Preoccupation with Past Relationships
If your partner is still talking regularly his/her ex (even if they are just "friends") and if your partner just does not acknowledge the fact that this bothers you, even a little bit, then it might signal that there an unwillingness towards total commitment to the current relationship.
It is vital that before you decide on when to break up, try finding out whether the relationship is worth saving. If you think that despite all the hurdles on the way you can make a commitment to make it work, then try everything to save the relationship. Relationship counseling or even talking directly to your partner can help. However if you think that your best efforts have just been failing, then it might be time to move on with your life.
