"Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself." - Unknown
This is so true! Trust is that special ingredient in all our relationships, be it with one's parents, spouse or children, which makes their foundation stronger. Without trust and commitment, no relationship can ever become successful. However, building trust in a relationship does not happen overnight. It has to be constantly worked upon, every single day. Although, it takes years to build trust, it may take just one mistake to break it forever. But is it possible to make someone trust us back again, if we have lied to them or cheated on them? Let's try to find out by looking at the below given relationship advice.
Sort Out Your Feelings
Let me tell you very frankly, to build trust back in a relationship is not easy. But, if you love your partner and genuinely feel that the "affair" was a big mistake, only then try and work on the relationship. If you are still in two minds, not sure that this relationship is what you want, I suggest give it some time. Be very clear about your feelings first. If somewhere you feel that your partner is not the right person for you, do not be in this relationship even a minute longer and go in for relationship break-up.
Communicate, Listen and Apologize
Once you are clear that your partner is the one for you, the first thing to do is to rebuild communication. Approach your partner and admit that yes you have had an extramarital affair behind their back. Do not blame your affair on anybody and take full responsibility for it. Apologize, by looking your partner in the eye and mean it. Of course, your partner will be very hurt at that moment so do not expect them to believe you. They might even be angry and react very aggressively. However, you maintain your calm and listen patiently to whatever they have to say. Do not give any reasons or make stories on why you cheated. Just listen and admit to your mistakes.
Bring Life back to your Relationship
Once your partner is over the initial hurt or is at least ready to have a normal conversation with you, discuss your relationship at length. If you had an affair because something was lacking in the relationship or you two were having some marital problem, tell your partner about it. If at some point you felt that there was lack of romance or fun in your life and that's why you had an affair, discuss with your partner as to how you can bring the spice back to your relationship. A useful tip here is to go in for marriage counseling. A counselor would be the best person to suggest ways to bring love, commitment, romance and fun back into your relationship and to solve any relationship issues, both of you might be facing.
Be an Open Book
From now on, make it a point to not keep any secrets from your partner. Even small measures such as always being available on mobile phone, introducing your partner to your colleagues and friends, telling them when you will be late from work and why, in short being predictable, go a long way in making someone trust you again.
Be Respectful and Reliable
Just like trust is the basis of any healthy relationship, mutual respect is needed to sustain it. So, treat your partner with respect. Listen to them when they have to say anything. Be empathetic and sensitive towards their feelings. Be there whenever they need someone. If they have any professional problems, always lend an ear and a helping hand. If you are reliable and always there for them, they will slowly start trusting you again.
Your partner may be very angry or withdraw into a shell or may simply walk over you due to your infidelity. You never know what's going to happen, as you are dealing here with a broken heart, with feelings and emotions. If you love your partner, make efforts, till you get them back, not just physically but emotionally as well!
